No matter how many articles I write providing keys to be successful, there is one thing you must have to achieve anything in life. Whatever you think that makes a person successful; be it their natural ability, or they have the right product, are in right field, had a blessed background or have a high IQ, anything of these would not work at all if the person does not have a consistent internal bravery or fire within themselves, which leads them to do whatever it takes to reach their goal.
This internal consistent fire is nothing but CONFIDENCE.
Every person once or more than once faces what they name it a tough phase of their life. It is your outlook towards this tough phase or setback in your life decides whether you would be successful or unsuccessful. It is you who provides the brain, the information that you have been a failure, no options are left to go ahead or succeed – you release the fear hormone, cortisol, finally quitting and not delivering your best confidence.
Whereas, when a person with a successful mindset sees a setback or a wall or no doors open, they inform their brain – “Fine, let me visualize my goal again, I don’t have a door open now, let me hang on, wait for some time. Meanwhile, let me go ahead and take action and see if that works. Don’t know how, but, sooner or later, I will get a door open.” People with a successful mindset always consider their failure as their learning phase and a fuel to keep going ahead. Mostly, for them, setback increases determination towards their goal. Finally, releasing the happy hormone, serotonin which always helps and energizes a human body.
Successful people have an immune belief system.Most people lack that. So, they end up blaming situation, other people, their own family, parents, spouse, kids and finally themselves for their failure. As I already mentioned earlier about the compound interest theory of Sir Albert Einstein, it is our deepest beliefs that affect our daily performances.
The egoistic mind thinks that success comes by always being happy, but the truth is that the way you look at your failure and towards your problem decides you would be happy or not. If you provide information to the brain that- I will try to be successful within next 10 years; if it works, fine or else I will quit. Providing the option of quitting even after 10 years confirms your failure as either you have a successful mind or you don’t. There is nothing in between. There is no option of safe play here. Here comes the role of confidence which decides you to stick to your fight to be successful or not.
If you think that you are not the confident person, there is nothing to worry as the best part is that you can develop it, practice it and train it and be steady to do the best in whatever you want to do. Stop Procrastinating and Just Start.
Lets’ understand, why someone is unconfident. When we grow up, we always look for validation from our family. If not appreciated that provides us an information that whatever I do, I do it incorrectly. This fear of not being correct at the first place makes us in confidence. Another reason might be that some had been bullied at school or home creating a steady belief that one might not be good looking enough or smart enough. Comparison with other people done by one’s own self and others also lead to low in confidence.
Ways to be confident:
- Fake Confidence: Successful people always say, fake it till you make it. This is how I ended up being confident. No matter what I felt inside, I just used to walk up to people whom I thought would be easy to me, gave them a smile and said, “Hello”& “Thanks”, with a smile.The smile should be genuine. I tried it with strangers as that was safe. Try with elderly people first. It also works with receptionist or cashiers at shops. Gradually, you will realize it’s not at all tough to start a conversation.
- Face your fear: Try to locate your fears and face it. Are you afraid of rejection by someone or getting rejected in a job or some opportunity? Are you afraid of committing mistakes or facing failure? Does that rejection stop you from doing it again? Then do it again. Facing the rejection repeatedly, and telling yourself there is always another chance would increase your determination. Learn from the rejection, what not to repeat next time.Consider it a learning and accept the challenge.
- Past is not equal to present: If you have failed or got rejected or made a huge mistake in the past does not mean you would not be successful repeating that again. If you keep on dwelling in the past, you may not realize how strong you have become in present.
- Stop comparing yourself: Comparing to someone doesn’t take out the best in you. Either it makes you competitive or jealous. You might have something which is unique and you fail to notice it as you compare yourself with someone and try to be that someone or better than someone. As mentioned in the movie 3 Idiots, what would have happened if Lata Mangeshkar’s father forced her to be a cricket player and Sachin Tendulkar’s father wanted him to be a singer?Find your craft and quality and sharpen it.
- Practice the positive: Never use negative words like, “I am not good at it”, “I cannot do it”, I am good for nothing”. Stay away from people who always talk what you are not good at. If that person is your family, don’t believe that person and walk on the path to prove that person incorrect. Someday, that person would be extremely proud of you. If necessary, hide your big dreams even from your closest people until you achieve it. Try to be with people of successful mindset as they are always positive no matter if you fail 100th It’s said – to be a multi-millionaire, you should be with multi-millionaire.
- Be good to yourself: Even if you crush a 100 Rupee note, it will still be worth Rs 100. So, understand your value and worth it. If you believe that you are beautiful, only then people will believe it. Your inner beauty and confidence reflect outside. Always appreciate yourself and say kind and good words to yourself. Try practicing in front of the mirror by looking at your eyes, repeating the words that you are the most confident person on earth. You can feel the difference within a week if you practice it every day consistently.
- Don’t pressurize yourself to be correct every time: Always being correct and perfect is a pressure in itself. Be spontaneous and don’t think every time before speaking up. Sometimes not being perfect makes you the best. As you have noticed, people love spontaneous people more. Speak out your heart, even it doesn’t satisfy all. Accepting your imperfections makes you more confident every time.